Dear God … Letters to Heaven

Have you ever wondered how God speaks? What does it sound like? Or does it even have a sound at all? Have you ever wondered if He still speaks? I have.

Have you ever wondered where God was or is in the mist of a very hard trial? The loss of a child? The loss of a loved one? Sickness? Depression? Anxiety? Tragedy? Everything in between? I have.

I have experienced all of those trials above and numerous others not even mentioned here. If some or all of those trials and losses sound familiar to you, then you know that life is extremely hard.

These next few thoughts make me vulnerable so please show grace. This is my journey, my Crossroads. The words written here have been prayed and cried over. Your story will look different and that is ok. My prayer is that you find seeds of hope and peace in the lines of my story and know that God knows your story too.

I have found for me, that scripture alone in and of itself does not always mend the broken heart, restore joy, replace the loss, or give hope. (Stay with Me) I can explain with a little history.

I was so blessed to be raised in church by two wonderful God-fearing parents and I was also blessed to have God-fearing grandparents. I heard the word. I sung the songs. I went to Sunday school and youth group. If the doors of the church were open, my family was there. Those are all great memories for me and I would never trade them for anything. It was a foundation of truth that my life was built on and I would not be here today had it not been for those times. All of those things, although wonderful, alone they are not enough.

When you are faced with a trial of any kind it is devastating. Knowing the Word of God is not enough, it’s knowing on a personal level, Who Wrote the Word. Can God speak through his word? Yes. Can God bring you through a trial? Yes. Did God write the word? Yes. Is the word of God, God breathed? Yes.

Scriptures tell us this and I believe it. Stay with me…

I read who God was, I ask for forgiveness, I was saved by HIS grace. But yet… when I was faced with a trial that was so devastating, so unbelievable, and so incredibly difficult to even put into words the heartbreak myself and my family experienced, I felt like I failed God. In the most difficult times in my life, I questioned God. I was angry and if I can be honest, I was angry at God. I felt betrayed. All the whys flooded my mind. I felt as though my hope, my joy was taken from me. I struggled. I cried. I felt like our entire world had changed in that moment. It did for me. It did for my family but the world kept on going.

I found myself in a very dark place. I tried to pray. I couldn’t. I tried to fall back on scripture but honestly I was too angry to read.

When I was in that dark place, the last thing I wanted anyone to share with me was scripture. I was in so much pain that pain was all I could feel. I ask for you to let me be real here. I was allowing the anger to consume me. Did I wallow in self pity? Most definitely. But God. He didn’t judge me. He didn’t leave me. How do I know this?

Have you ever felt like the only way out is up? I had nothing else to hang on to. While being in the lowest point in my life, the only thing I knew to do was call out to God. This is where I have no doubt that having the foundation that my parents and grandparents had laid for me all those years ago, is what helped me to rediscover that God was the only one who could bring me out of the darkness.

The only thread that held my life together was knowing that God was out there, somewhere. But where? How did I get here? Why am I here? Why did this happen? How did this happen? Why did this happen to our family? Looking back, and I mean it took years for me to understand this, and to forgive myself, that those questions were normal. I found such peace and grace once realizing this. We are all human and God knows this. God knows that we are just mere dust from the ground.

Did I have words, only two. DEAR GOD… I had tears, bursts of outcries and moaning. That’s all. No fancy prayer filled with elaborate words. Only tears. Did God answer? Yes. He met me where I was. In that dark place, God met me. Did I hear him? the answer is yes. Not in a vocal way. Not in a sound I could hear. But God met me. He still loved me even during the mist of my anger, He still loved me. He still loves you. No matter what road you are traveling, He is with you. He still speaks. He spoke to me in my spirit. He can speak to you too.

Romans 8:26 “Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words.” ESV

Right here I would like to say that since that life altering trial in my life, I have experienced other difficult and trying trials. As long as we live here on this earth, there will be trials. Trials too big for words. Trials that are too consuming for us, but not too consuming for God. Knowing WHO WROTE THE WORD and my relationship with Him daily, along with reading His word, I can victoriously say that I will not allow the darkness to consume me again. He is faithful.

Is life now easy? No! It is a struggle to keep the faith and to lean into God while walking through a trial. It is a daily decision to let go and let God. The enemy of our soul, will try and put thoughts in our minds, that God is not with us. He is a liar. The enemy will tell us that God allowed this or that to happen. He is a liar. The enemy seeks to destroy you, destroy me. Here is a scripture to hold own too: “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.” John 10:27-28.

For me, I know Who wrote the Word and my hope is that you too can know Him. It may only be cries and moanings as you are walking through the trial the “fire” so to speak, but HE is with you. Knowing the Word (the scriptures) and Knowing Who Wrote the Word (Our Heavenly Father) go hand in hand. Having a daily relationship with the One who wrote the word is the key! He wants to hear from you. He longs to meet you where you are. He is our everlasting Father. Our Prince of Peace. Our Soon Coming King.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

May you find peace and restoration for your heart. “Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation; and uphold me with Thy free spirit.” Psalms 51:12

You can begin with “Dear God…”

He will meet you! Whatever you are facing today, just know that You are not Alone, God is Enough!

Blessings,

Vicki

He has a plan for you. Isaiah 9:6

Scripture is God Breathed- 2 Timothy 3:16.

He has a plan for you.-Jeremiah 29:11

He heals the brokenhearted. -Psalm 147:3